The Serious Kit Arrives in Paris

The naming is strikingly British, being both on-the-nose, direct, and completely nondescriptive. It is a well-engineered adaptation of farm equipment, with a keen focus on multiple, contrasting, and adjustable sensations to suit each subject’s preference. While the Serious Kit is famous in its niche circles strikingly little information about it is available.

The base system is the same pump and tank used to milk dairy cows. The suction and massage techniques are packed with pleasure and endurance. Relentless endurance. The genius is the pulsating adaptor and the lubricant injection system. Super-slippery lubricant constantly flows into the receiver, heightening comfort and adding sensation. The lubricant can be warmed or cooled depending on the desired feeling.

Not only will this elaborate setup render you completely helpless, but it also has a mad-scientist, power-tool, metal aesthetic. The brutal sci-fi, prison, dystopian farm role-plays are endless.

A super-strong bondage experience with several leather straps keeping you secure. You can be attached in a standing or horizontal position. Please indicate if you want vertical or horizontal before booking. The bondage board cannot be moved while you are attached to it.

The “Gyno-Swing” is the perfect combination of comfortable and vulnerable, and an excellent option if you want to add pegging or the f-machine to your session.

(Coming Soon!)
The pulsing suction can be applied to other places of the body, including the nipples, with this attachment. Bipolar electrical points can be used if you are feeling brave. (Never fret, since it is bipolar, the current is localized to the point of contact and does not need to run through the body.)

Why the extra cost?

The Serious Kit needs serious cleaning as well. Each use requires setup and breakdown, which add an hour before and an hour after use. Fresh materials and supplies are needed for each use.

Remember, the Serious Kit is an actual piece of farm equipment being set up in the center of Paris; it takes up room and time to assemble. A fresh batch of special lubricant (three to four liters) must be mixed and allowed to set for 20-40 minutes beforehand. The receiver must be disassembled and reassembled with a new sleeve liner.

After the session, the kit must be immediately flushed with warm, soapy water to remove the lubricant, then rinsed again with fresh water. Also, bits and pieces of such an intricate device will need to be replaced constantly.

With all of this, only one Serious Kit milking session will be possible a day. If someone has already booked your day, you will have to wait until the next availability.

There will be those who don’t consider my extra cleaning time worthy of an upcharge and don’t mind reusing liners. I am happy to discourage these people with the upcharge.

Is the Serious Kit Milking Machine for you?

Sometimes fantasies are best left fantasies. While you might be intrigued by the idea of experiencing the ultimate in milking, keep in mind that it is not an edging machine; it is for continual, relentless milking. The suction is quite strong and does not stop. If your kink ends after orgasm, the post orgasm suction is actual torment instead of exciting sensations. The receiver can thrust intensely onto the body.

If you prefer a lighter, edging, massage experience, the Tremblr might be the better choice. Or consider the stroking sensation of The Handy.

The Serious Kit is absolutely not portable and is available exclusively in my Paris dungeon.

The Future of the Studio Xème Serious Kit Milker

So many add-ons how can I pick? Of course, I already have a running list. In the following months, I will acquire more electrical equipment, including milking receivers, anal probes, and testicular stimulators. It is merely a matter of time and order of preference.

If you are familiar with Serious Kit Lore, you have heard of and maybe even been dreaming of the Mega Suit. Yes, the latex vacuum suit that pulses with or without lube, with or without electrical stimulation. It is definitely on my radar for someday. The issue is that it is cost-prohibitive, and latex has a limited lifespan. Expect that when the suit does arrive at Studio Xème, there will be an accompanying charge for this elevated experience.