FemDom Mentor in Paris

Learn Femdom with Domina M

So you’ve decided to explore domination with your feminine side. Fantastic. There are many wonderful and healthy reasons to indulge this side.

There are also some bad reasons to take a dominant role. Femdom is not your way to topple the patriarchy. BDSM is never a good method to work out real anger or resentment. It won’t resolve anything. Also, please don’t do it because your partner forces you. If it really does not interest you, being cajoled into it will only leave a bad taste in your mouth. There is such a thing as a non-consensual submissive, and it is just as traumatizing.

So you should be here and continue only if you have genuine curiosity and want to know how it can bring you closer to your partner. If that sounds good to you, you are in the right place, and I am happy to help!

FemDom 101

Know Yourself

What do you want to get out of a femdom interaction with your partner? There are many examples of dominatrices and dominant women in history and pop culture. Of course, you can take inspiration from them. Absolutely! It is, however, more important to have them inspire aspects of who you are. Find your personal dominant side rather than trying to be what you think it should look like.

Talk to your Partner

BDSM, kink, and also Femdom are games. Like all games, it needs a beginning, an ending, and rules. You both must agree on where, when, how, and other rules.

Consider indicators of when “The Game” begins and ends. I have fully developed rituals for every playtime that help me get into the mindset. Developing rituals is an integral part of your growth as a Femdom. Start with simple things and add/subtract what works for you. One of the more universal symbols that a scene or “game” has begun is placing a collar on your submissive’s neck. Where and how you do this is up to you.

For me, I start my ritual with my attire. My domina clothes may be sometimes vanilla, and my street clothes may have a fetish flair, but I keep my outfits for play separate from whatever I wear to the shop or restaurant. Changing into stockings, shoes, a leather skirt, or anything else that serves solely to make me feel powerful greatly helps me focus on my dominant role rather than the trials of the day.

Prioritize your Pleasure

While it may seem simple, it requires some adjustment. Once you realize that you deserve to be in control and to experience pleasure, you’re well on your way. You have the rules in place, and from there, everything is yours for the taking.

Why would your partner want to be submissive?

Those seeking a femdom mentor are often most curious as to why their mate would want to be submissive. While there are too many reasons to count, we can start with some of the major ones:

• Highened Physical Stimulation: Become an alchemist of mixing pleasure and pain.
• Mental Freedom: There is something freeing in being controlled.
• The Need to Please: Sometimes the desire to please is overwhelming. Give your partner the gift of giving to you.
• Connection in Vulnerability: Being submissive to someone creates deeper, stronger bonds between you.

Boundaries

Often, we speak of boundaries for the submissive in the D/s dynamic, but they are just as crucial for the dominant. Just because someone wants to do something for you doesn’t mean you have to accept it. Part of being a mindful dominant is understanding that you are the one in power and responsible. Sometimes you just have to tell the submissive, “No.“

FemDom Reading

Work your most erotic muscle, your brain, by reading everything you can about FemDom. Put away the Hub and focus on deeper dives into what Femdom is and isn’t. I have a quick list of some great books to start your exploration:

These two books changed my life in the early 90s when I realized I wasn’t weird and other people thought as I did.

SM 101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman

Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission by Gloria Brame

Some more classics:

The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy (and the New Bottoming Book is great too)

The Heart of Dominance: A Guide to Practicing Consensual Dominance by Anton Fulmen

What about trying some fun “beach reads” from a sophisticated FemDom POV? My friend Jane has written some delicious books based on interviews with many dominatrices the world over (myself included!)

Edge Play and Bold Strokes Jane Boon

Femdom Mentor in Paris

Want to learn from me in person? I invite you to meet me in my private dungeon in Paris. I host several opportunities a month for open and safe discussions for women only and technical workshops to hone your mental and physical skills.

You can see the current calendar of the Workshops and Classes.

Become a FemDom Apprentice

If you prefer more specific guidance, want to learn on your own schedule, or prefer private coaching, you can schedule a direct one-on-one coaching session with me. You can schedule as often as you like, or we can create a package for an ongoing education experience.