Adult star of stage and screen, Rachel Rampage, interviews Domina M about her journey through BDSM and how it works in Paris, France.

Transcript of the Rachel Rampage interview with Domina M

Rachel: An American living in Paris, living the dream in Paris. Yes. In Europe. What brought you to Paris?

M: I was in Europe, and I was living in Barcelona and loved Barcelona. Lived there for 5 years. Cool. And it was so much better than New York, because New York was too fast. Barcelona was a little bit too slow. Paris is just right. You’ve got that big city movement. A lot of culture, but Paris knows when it’s quitting time and work stops.

Rachel: Okay. So, different than the US for sure. Yeah. How do you find the BDSM/kink community out here as opposed to in the States? Completely different.

M: Yeah. Completely different beasts.

Rachel: You must like it better because you’re here.

M: Um, it’s just different. It’s just different. I won’t say better or worse. It’s smaller. Kink has been hidden for so long. It’s been mostly a culture of literature: the Marquis de Sade, the Story of O, and Georges Bataille with the Story of the Eye, but that’s been very behind the scenes. There has not been a culture. But it’s coming now. There’s coming a culture of BDSM where people are meeting, and it’s kind of nice to be a part of that birth here.

Rachel: So what did you do in the States before you were a dominatrix?

M: Well, a struggling student is what I was.

Rachel: What did you study?

M: I have my degrees in economics and English composition.

Rachel: Great. Smarty pants.

M: Which means I can be a dominatrix or a lawyer.

Rachel: And do the skills transfer over?

M: Yes. A lot of economics, marketing, a lot of marketing. I much preferred being a dominatrix to going to law school. So, I dropped out.

Rachel: Okay. Cool. You know, I wonder if you went through with like doing both, or like being a lawyer and a dominatrix, if you would find a lot of submissive men in the field of law.

M: Yes, absolutely.

Rachel: I definitely have a couple of subs lawyers. Absolutely. I think they’re actually very submissive, and they’re overcompensating. I think they’re just trying to cover up that submissive side.

M: Yeah. It’s all about balance, though, isn’t it?

Rachel: Yeah, it really. What are some of your favorite ways to play, as you have so much experience? You said 28 years this July. That’s amazing. Congratulations. We all have a lot to learn from you.

M: All the mistakes you can possibly have made. I’ve made them.

Rachel: Which ones stick out to you?

M: Which mistakes? Oh my god. Oh many. Finding myself and finding my boundaries.. Finding my boundaries as a dominatrix is really, really important. I think it’s hard when you’re starting out, trying to figure out who you are and that you want to be good with the client, and you want to connect to your submissive, but you still want to be in control. Where does that lie? How is that authentic?

Rachel: Yeah. And that takes a long time to figure out. Yeah. I agree. I think the ability to say no frequently, as I instruct the new doms to prepare for it, will help them become comfortable with it and even enjoy saying no. I enjoy it a lot. Like, I’ll just reject people and turn them away constantly, and I like that. And I’m too, but I’m a shitty [ __ ]

M: That works. That’s fair. That’s a safe boundary. Thank you. Yeah, it’s a hard and safe boundary, but it’s also protected me in a lot of ways.

Rachel: Yeah. And if I’m not psyched to do something, it’s usually a no, right? It’s not if a maybe is usually a no.

M: I think it’s an interesting thing that you’re bringing up–finding your boundaries and what doesn’t feel good. Like what doesn’t feel good to do? There’s a difference between like going out of your comfort zone and trying something new and exciting, and going past your boundaries.

Rachel: That’s not cool.

M: Exactly. So, you’ve got to kind of figure out for yourself what feels good. If it doesn’t feel good, don’t do it.

Rachel: Yeah. Don’t do it. Some of my session application forms are only for face sitting and body worship, which doesn’t seem fun to me.

M: No.

Rachel: I’ll reject that application based on “I want to have a good time. too.”

M: Well, it’s not very intellectually stimulating.

Rachel: It’s certainly not. I’m like, snore. Sitting in body worship for 3 hours. Snore.

M: Oh, wow. That’s a long.

Rachel: I know. I got one the other day for 3 hours of facesitting body worship.

M: Wait, no.

Rachel: Snore. Not interested. Literally, it does not get me excited in any way. Now, if you add some CBT and corporal punishment, I’m much more excited to do this. Then they’ve got something to do where you’re sitting, you know, you have a seat on their face and pop them, right? Pop them in the balls. Bring the combination.

M: Yeah. I mean, just face sitting alone and body weight is not very kinky.

Rachel: That should be like the bare minimum you do anyway.

M: Yeah, as rewards.

Rachel: As you say, facesitting as a reward.

M: Facesitting is a reward. You have to earn that.

Rachel: Yeah. And how do you earn it?

M: Corporal punishment. CBT. The more you take from it, the more impressed I am.

Rachel: So, what are your favorites?

M: Well, bondage goes with everything. I love, love, love bondage. I love the sense of allowing somebody to be very vulnerable and helpless. Then you have that power shift where they are really just completely at my control, and they really have to let go, when they let go to that meditative state, but a little bit of fear–it’s just delicious, and then I really have them. Then I can start the sensation overload. So my favorite things are bondage and sensory deprivation.

Rachel: Yeah. Go into sensory overload.

M: Adding all kinds of things. You know, you have electrics, you have even just your fingers pinching, vibrators, clips, clamps, milking machines, everything.

Rachel: So, sensory deprivation is funny. So, I recently went into one of those float tanks. Have you ever done them?

M: No, I’ve always wanted to do that. I’ve never done something like that outside of a kinky scene.

Rachel: This is very much in a vanilla sense, but I went into one of those float tanks, and the water is like super buoyant, like bouncy and buoyant. It’s got a lot of salt in it, right? So, you just float in the dark, and you’re supposed to be able to fall into a meditative state. The whole time I kept thinking about the Titanic. I’m like floating. I’m serious. I’m the dumbest thing. I kept thinking, “I wonder if this is how the people dying on the Titanic felt.” That’s all I kept thinking about; I was like, “Okay, well, they have hypothermia now.” And I’m like, “Is this how it felt before?” Which made me also go into, “Is that my past life death? Did I die on the Titanic?”

M: You have a hard time shutting your brain off. You cannot turn that off.

Rachel: I know. I know. It’s probably all the coffee I drink. Do you mentor or anything like that?

M: I mentor online. I mentor couples.. One of my favorite things right now is couples coaching. Usually, one partner is kinky and the other one isn’t. Almost always, it’s the man who’s kinky, and it’s the woman who’s not in it, as I see mostly heterosexual couples. I’m open to everyone, but heterosexual couples are the ones who tend to see me. I have a lot of experience in deciphering what submissive people come to say and what they mean. I’m almost like an interpreter. They want this elaborate thing. I’m like, “Okay, no, actually he just wants this.”.

Rachel: And can you break that down a little bit for me? What’s an example of something that someone would ask for when really they just want their dick slapped?

M: Well, I think it has to do with watching a lot of stuff online, and they they gotten really into the really elaborate outfits and the really elaborate roleplay, but all they wanted to do was be on a leash and collar under some boots. The problem was that they would build these elaborate fantasies, and by the time they got all dressed and all the elaborate outfits and the situation set up, they were not in the mood. They were just tired.

Rachel: Oh, they had too much behind the scenes, did they?

M: Yeah, so I’m like, “Hm, I think you don’t need to start that way”. Just put him on a leash and collar under your boots. We’re sitting on the couch, boots on him, and he’s just like he’s in subspace. You don’t need that much stuff. I’m like, “Okay, well, now you have a place to start from.”

Rachel: And now, you can start adding things here and there and here and there as you feel like it.

M: I really like working with couples like that and having them communicate better and come together in kink. I think that’s really, really cool.

Rachel: Doing the Lord’s work.

M: I am.

Rachel: So, you see a lot of couples in your space?

M: In my space. Yeah.

Rachel: Do you rent out to other doms or anything like that?

M: I don’t. I rent out to lifestyle doms. I cannot rent out to other professionals.

Rachel: Why is that?

M: Because it’s illegal here in France.

Rachel: Really?

M: Yes.

Rachel: How long has that been in effect, or has it just always been that way? Because I didn’t know about that.

M: Sex work itself is legal in France, and domination, no matter what you say, is a type of sex work, and it falls under that umbrella.

Rachel: Absolutely, it does.

M: And that itself is legal. Fine. Okay. But if someone is renting from me, I’m taking money from a sex worker, the rental fee, and that makes me a pimp. I mean, if somebody was using my dungeon, I could promote them, but I would be a pimp and I’d be “trafficking them.”

Rachel: Oh [ __ ] Hey. So, I can’t do that. Yeah.

M: So, it’s just lifestyle couples who come and use my dungeon, and it’s so sweet. Like, I’ve got all the stuff in my dungeon. They’re just overwhelmed by everything, and it’s so cute. They always have a good time. They like the atmosphere. And I get to support my gear habit. I get the rental money, and then I get to buy a new toy. I love it.

Rachel: Is there a new toy specifically right now that you have your eye on?

M: I have on order a suspended gyno chair.

Rachel: Oh yeah.

M: Yes, suspended gyno chair where it hangs from my suspension rig, and then it has stirrups, and then it has the attachments for the F machine, and it has a head bondage unit.

Rachel: Great. Do you do a lot of medical play?

M: I do a lot of medical play. I really enjoy medical play. It appeals to me so much because it’s very technical, and I’m mentally engaged, which is nice, as it aligns with my mentality. The whole nurse thing, where I can be very sadistic, but it’s for someone’s own good.

Rachel: Oh, it’s for someone’s own good. Really goes with my style. This is for your own good. Yeah.

M: Yes. You’re getting this shot, and it hurts. It’s for your good, and so I get to smile sweetly as I’m inflicting pain. It’s for your own good. You’re squeezing that needle.

Rachel: Well, thank you so much for meeting with me in Paris and chatting. I have so much to learn from you. Oh, thank you. You’re just incredible. You’re a pillar of industry.

M: Thank you. And I hope you have a wonderful time in Paris this lovely year. Thank you so much.

Watch some more, like when Domina M gave Rachel Rampage a tour of her Paris BDSM dungeon, or see more of Rachel’s YouTube Channel.