Just as in writing a story, painting a tableau, or any other creative endeavor, there is a process, a beginning, before beginning. In this way, I need to clear my head for “Domme Mode.” I have some things that I do that transition me, not into top space, but prepare me to meet someone’s energy. Almost always, this process has a curated soundtrack that either elevates or calms my mood–depending on my starting point. This can take up to 3 hours, depending on the scene I am preparing. I don’t just snap into Domme Mode.

First, I take control of my physical space. While it is impossible to have everything cleaned and organized to perfection (trust me, I have tried), I need to feel that my room is presentable. The items I want to use in the scene are readily available, with safety and sanitary items within easy reach. A play scene exists in three dimensions, and I need to feel I can move with ease and grace within it.  If you have seen my dungeon, you know that creating an immersive experience is essential to me.

Next, I take control of my physical presentation, make-up, hair, and, most importantly, the many layers and levels of the fetish outfit. Sometimes the person I see is quite specific about what triggers their sub-space. I consider this in light of the practicality of what I must achieve during our playtime. Just as important is, “Do I feel powerful in this outfit?” Contained in the privacy of the scene, I can wear a lot of what my fancies and fantasies include without judgment of the outside world. And so begins the separation of the mundane world and the ephemeral world I create.

And lastly, I collect my beverage (herbal tea or sparkling water), sit in my elevated spot, and spend some time thinking about–nothing. I gather my thoughts and quiet them to disconnect from nonsensical life fully. I cannot worry about errands, projects, and all the other things that will keep me from connecting to my sub. While this may sound simple and even unnecessary, I assure you that it is the most critical part. I am clearing out my mental space for the scene. I change the music to something beautiful and ambient for the session.

Domme Mode Activated

At this time, I can receive my sub into my created world. It is important to me to be focused and ready. While many may think I just exist as a domme in domme mode, it is more complicated than that. I want to be able to read and connect with my submissive about to arrive.